The Ramona Pageant

(Shalom)"The Ramona Pageant tryouts will be held...." the speaker said drearily. "at the Ramona Bowl as usual." My heart started to pound; I had always wanted to be Ramona. Oh. I forgot to tell you my name; Sir Michael Kazackadoodle. I know I have a strange name, but at least I'm taking over the world and people are sooooooooo not happy about it. So whether the judges give me the part or not, I'll already have taken over the world so I'll get the part.
"Why do I want the part so bad?" you might ask; because I think that if in the time of Shakespeare the men played women, why not now? You might think that is gross; that means you are affected by culture. Our modern culture thinks that it isn't disgusting if a girl pretends to be a boy so why is it disgusting for a boy to pretend to be a girl? Someone has to do it! (Zach) Just then, the phone rang. It was a call from one of my evil henchmen.
"Evil Squiggle is taking over the world!" he announced.
"Oh," I replied. I went to the tryouts. Guess what part I got? A talking peanut named Fred. Bobbie and Frankie were also talking peanuts. But they got switched to sumo wrestlers because they were always fighting each other. Then I called all my evil henchmen all over the world and told them to double their efforts in taking over the world so I could be Ramona. But I didn't know that Bobbie and Frankie were listening to my conversation. Suddenly, I heard a different voice on the phone.
"Wow! Sir Michael Kazackadoodle is taking over the world!!!!!!!!!" Bobbie said.
"That's so amazing! I hope he'll start an international sumo wrestling league!" That was Frankie.
"I have an idea! Let's become evil henchmen!"
"That's a brilliant idea!"
And that is how Bobbie and Frankie became evil henchmen for Sir Michael Kazackadoodle.
(Shalom) After that, I heard a loud "CRASHSHSHSHSH! CLLLLANGGGG!" Two enormously fat sumo wrestlers burst through my laboratory's back door. I knew it must have been the ever fighting Frankie and Bobbie. They stood up straight as soon as the saw me (well, as straight as a 2,000 pound sumo wrestler can). Bobbie looked at the beautiful slimy floor I had artfully crated with the Booger-o-matic 5000. Frankie asked meekly,"Sir, we want to become your evil henchmen. Would you kindly let us do so?" They fell down in a bowing like motion. I laughed."Of course! But first you need to take the Evil Henchman Oath." They got up and held each others hands while jumping and giggling like little girls. (Zach) "Okay, " I said. "Repeat after me: I promise to be evil forever and ever. WAHAHAHA!!!!" They both took the Evil Henchman Oath. Then they went back to sumo wrestling and wrecked my laboratory. "Get out of my evil laboratory and go rob a bank or something!" I yelled. "Yes sir!" Frankie and Bobbie said. Then jumped out of my laboratory.
        (Debbie) It appeared that I had everything under control at this point.  Everything was going my way.  I could nearly have burst into singing "Oh What A Beautiful Morning!" if it weren't such a syrupy sweet little ditty.  Instead I grunted my happy grunt - a whole series of happy grunts, actually.  Yet in the back of my mind something was bothering me.  I couldn't put my clammy finger on it, but I knew something wasn't right.  I felt it.  It was my newly acquired evil henchmen who broke the news to me.  "Sir," said Frankie and Bobbie, "between wrestling matches we sat down to watch TV for a minute and saw something we think you should know about."  They went on to describe a public service announcements of sorts that had played during the commercial break.  "It was a man in a fancy suit, sir.  A man who claimed to be named Sir Noodle Kazackadoodle, of ancient Kazackadoodlian lineage, and heir to the Kazackadoodle family estate and fortune in the old country." I pulled worriedly at my scraggly beard and thought about the power and prestige that such fortune and renown would bring to Sir Noodle Kazackadoodle, my long lost fifth cousin thrice removed, believed until now to have been swallowed whole by an angry gopher while on a hunting trip more than a decade ago.  Was this truly Sir Noodle Kazackadoodle, or an impersonator?  And real or not, would he challenge my newly acquired power over the world? (Zach) I got my answer the day after the Ramona Pageant. (I was the best Ramona ever!) Once again, it was my two new henchmen that broke the news. "Sir Noodle Kazackadoodle is here, sir!" Frankie yelled. 
"He demands his inheritance as the heir of ancient Kazackadoodleian line!" Bobbie exclaimed.
"What does that mean????????" I asked.
"He demands possession of the world!" Bobbie and Frankie screamed together.
"Then go sumo wrestle him," I replied calmly.
"Yes sir!" the two sumo wrestlers scrambled for the door, obviously pleased with their assignment.